Last Time

My Dearest you

Last time when I saw you, we were just 16 (Correct, that's age when people define it perfect age for first crush @ school).

Yes, it was day when board exam results were expected to be announced. I was so much excited that day for 2 reasons. One i would be seeing you in real after long break of 1 month vacation and other was obvious, it was my first board exams results.

I woke up that day just a minute after talking to you in my early morning dream. I still remember what i said to you in my dream that day, infact i remember each and every incident of that short dream. Just after waking from that dream my heart was pumping at 2X speed. I ran towards my haphazardly arranged book shelf. I searched for my broad exam question papers to make a final analysis of how much on each paper i would get. I looked at my Social studies question paper once again.Probably that was N+1 th i had seen that paper after the exams. Question paper color had already turned from white to kind of browy yellow. There were lots of numbers floating on either side of question paper. Pratically speaking there were no space left on either side of question paper to make final post exam mark analyis on that day, as i had done such a "final analyis" quite a few times on paper. On top right corner of each question paper i had even rounded and signed off with 3 numbers: Worst case , Nominal and Best Case just like we specify various parameters of our library components gate in our VLSI. I threwed question paper back to my shelf deciding that whatever need to happen would have already happened and there is no use for doing such postmortem N times.

I went to kitchen just to remind my mom that today is my broad exam results and could not avoid tasting the just getting prepared avalaki. Mom knew it, she was already preparing for my break fast and simultanously uttering lots of things like go take bath before ur dad goes to bath room, do some prayers before going to see results, etc.

Two hours latter , i was just outside my house gate, taking out my bicycle, when phone began to ran. My mom picked up the phone, i went inside to check who had called. It was my closest friend. He had already seen his and my result in internet and was in process of reporting the results in detail to my Mom. My Mom said its 83 % and made an immediate emphasizing comment on marks i got."12 % lesser than topper of school". I dint care about that comment and just ignored,sat on bicycle and within next 20mins or so i was infront of school notice board.

While Everyone was busy jumping curiously seeing each others marks, i was just gazing at you. You were dressed up in dark blue salwar that day. Your face and those beautiful eyes was more boyed up than never. My heart said me to trigger off a talk with you ,while my mind contradicted thinking what other guys would think/speak about if they saw me talking to you. That day unfortunately my mind won over my heart. Maybe if i had ever knew that it would be my last time seeing you i would have ensured my heart to win that day.

Now i have turned 24, couple of days back. Some times i wonder why first crush stays forever. I still see you in my dreams.

Sometimes you speak to me,

Sometimes you walk with me,

Sometimes you ignore me,

Sometimes you play hide & seek with me,

Sometimes you are angry with me.

They say the world is small.

Hoping to meet you in real life oneday.

Your's lovingly,

Me