A Poem

This is first poem written on me :) .

Gifted as part of my 24th Bday.

Swamy:

You climb up mountains, and walk down hills,

Trying to capture nature in stills.

Like a swami, you try to live,

But your logic is not all pervasive.

You are shy and quiet, and innocent too.

No one loves Kannada as much as you.

Best wishes Swamy, but we're not done yet.

Lots of birthday bumps you're going to get!

Thank you DaGang!!!

Last Time

My Dearest you

Last time when I saw you, we were just 16 (Correct, that's age when people define it perfect age for first crush @ school).

Yes, it was day when board exam results were expected to be announced. I was so much excited that day for 2 reasons. One i would be seeing you in real after long break of 1 month vacation and other was obvious, it was my first board exams results.

I woke up that day just a minute after talking to you in my early morning dream. I still remember what i said to you in my dream that day, infact i remember each and every incident of that short dream. Just after waking from that dream my heart was pumping at 2X speed. I ran towards my haphazardly arranged book shelf. I searched for my broad exam question papers to make a final analysis of how much on each paper i would get. I looked at my Social studies question paper once again.Probably that was N+1 th i had seen that paper after the exams. Question paper color had already turned from white to kind of browy yellow. There were lots of numbers floating on either side of question paper. Pratically speaking there were no space left on either side of question paper to make final post exam mark analyis on that day, as i had done such a "final analyis" quite a few times on paper. On top right corner of each question paper i had even rounded and signed off with 3 numbers: Worst case , Nominal and Best Case just like we specify various parameters of our library components gate in our VLSI. I threwed question paper back to my shelf deciding that whatever need to happen would have already happened and there is no use for doing such postmortem N times.

I went to kitchen just to remind my mom that today is my broad exam results and could not avoid tasting the just getting prepared avalaki. Mom knew it, she was already preparing for my break fast and simultanously uttering lots of things like go take bath before ur dad goes to bath room, do some prayers before going to see results, etc.

Two hours latter , i was just outside my house gate, taking out my bicycle, when phone began to ran. My mom picked up the phone, i went inside to check who had called. It was my closest friend. He had already seen his and my result in internet and was in process of reporting the results in detail to my Mom. My Mom said its 83 % and made an immediate emphasizing comment on marks i got."12 % lesser than topper of school". I dint care about that comment and just ignored,sat on bicycle and within next 20mins or so i was infront of school notice board.

While Everyone was busy jumping curiously seeing each others marks, i was just gazing at you. You were dressed up in dark blue salwar that day. Your face and those beautiful eyes was more boyed up than never. My heart said me to trigger off a talk with you ,while my mind contradicted thinking what other guys would think/speak about if they saw me talking to you. That day unfortunately my mind won over my heart. Maybe if i had ever knew that it would be my last time seeing you i would have ensured my heart to win that day.

Now i have turned 24, couple of days back. Some times i wonder why first crush stays forever. I still see you in my dreams.

Sometimes you speak to me,

Sometimes you walk with me,

Sometimes you ignore me,

Sometimes you play hide & seek with me,

Sometimes you are angry with me.

They say the world is small.

Hoping to meet you in real life oneday.

Your's lovingly,

Me

Mein aisa kyu hu?? (Why am i like this)

"Mein aisa kyu hu,Mein aisa kyu hu"

"Mein aisa kyu hu,Mein aisa kyu hu"

This was one hit song from Movie Lakshya. When the movie came i enjoyed this song, but i never thought i would be singing this for myself some day . I was never out of focus , than the way am now. Laziness has creped in me and am not able to get rid of it.

I am exactly  in similar situation where in the hero (hirthick roshan) of film was facing. Hero dint had lakshya , so he wanted to do whatever that creeps in minds of his friend. When his friend wants to do MBA ,he also thinks that is right for him and then if same guy come and tell he wants to join army again , this also feels right option for him.

Similar thoughts  are revolving around my head today. To put a few on paper. I want to take IAS exam when i see some people in my group have decided and working for it. I  also want to take GATE exam and do well and get into IITs or IISC,when i see few more working towards GATE. There are  other option which is in my mind like taking GRE and traveling out for MS. 

These things reminds me one of my favourite  titan add.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9X7Lr-uplo

I wasn't like this when i was kid. When ever anyone used ask me what you want to become in future, without any second thought / hesitation i used to say  "I want to become Cricketer" . Being a cricketer and representing country  just became one of my childhood dreams. I still remember days when i used to be there in field under  scorching sun  for entire day, inspite when there were lot of politics in school team selection and  i was just asked either  field or being 12 th Man in team. As a kid i was very passionate about the game Cricket. I never used to miss a match on TV. I remember days when we used to go and sit in cable operators house with huge crowd  without food for almost entire day and enjoy winning moments of Indian cricket team. My mom in such situations used to react in typical way like the other mothers. "What would you gain seeing that stupid game. Only players make money out of it and you guys just waste time for it." But still i never missed a game on TV. I had list all 10*11 players in my tongue tip who had participated in World cup 1996.(Even the Kenyan and UAE players who were debut ants for that world cup) . I used to memorize entire score cards of match and used to discuss about shots Sachin played with other guys in school. Those were best days of my life!!!

Now if i look back, May be i never seriously thought of what i really wanted to become. Thats reason why i ended up as stupid software engineer like millions in this country.

Ya time has come to decide on few things for my future and am in dilemma in deciding upon what to do. Here is list of items still revolving in my head.

1. Study hard for Civil service Exam and become an IAS/IPS/IFS officer.

2. Take GATE and get into any of IITs/IISC and become a research scientist

3. Write ISRO exam and join ISRO

4. Take Photography courses and become a professional phtographer.

5. Most disappointing option . Concentrate on work which i am doing in IBM right now and do tremendous progress there it self and in few  years get married as a stupid software engineer after i start getting 1 lak sal per month

6. Most funniest option which came in my mind. Taking up umpire exams and becoming  a Umpire for ICC. This is only way i still can dream daily about cricket.( Just imagine myself  in "Ind vs Pak  world cup final" standing as umpire and guys like Dhoni , Sachin and Zak pleading for leg before in front of me ).