Saturday, October 24, 2009

A Poem




This is first poem written on me :) .
Gifted as part of my 24th Bday.

Swamy:

You climb up mountains, and walk down hills,
Trying to capture nature in stills.

Like a swami, you try to live,
But your logic is not all pervasive.

You are shy and quiet, and innocent too.
No one loves Kannada as much as you.

Best wishes Swamy, but we're not done yet.
Lots of birthday bumps you're going to get!

Thank you DaGang!!!

Last Time


My Dearest you

Last time when I saw you, we were just 16 (Correct, that's age when people define it perfect age for first crush @ school).

Yes, it was day when board exam results were expected to be announced. I was so much excited that day for 2 reasons. One i would be seeing you in real after long break of 1 month vacation and other was obvious, it was my first board exams results.

I woke up that day just a minute after talking to you in my early morning dream. I still remember what i said to you in my dream that day, infact i remember each and every incident of that short dream. Just after waking from that dream my heart was pumping at 2X speed. I ran towards my haphazardly arranged book shelf. I searched for my broad exam question papers to make a final analysis of how much on each paper i would get. I looked at my Social studies question paper once again.Probably that was N+1 th i had seen that paper after the exams. Question paper color had already turned from white to kind of browy yellow. There were lots of numbers floating on either side of question paper. Pratically speaking there were no space left on either side of question paper to make final post exam mark analyis on that day, as i had done such a "final analyis" quite a few times on paper. On top right corner of each question paper i had even rounded and signed off with 3 numbers: Worst case , Nominal and Best Case just like we specify various parameters of our library components gate in our VLSI. I threwed question paper back to my shelf deciding that whatever need to happen would have already happened and there is no use for doing such postmortem N times.
I went to kitchen just to remind my mom that today is my broad exam results and could not avoid tasting the just getting prepared avalaki. Mom knew it, she was already preparing for my break fast and simultanously uttering lots of things like go take bath before ur dad goes to bath room, do some prayers before going to see results, etc.

Two hours latter , i was just outside my house gate, taking out my bicycle, when phone began to ran. My mom picked up the phone, i went inside to check who had called. It was my closest friend. He had already seen his and my result in internet and was in process of reporting the results in detail to my Mom. My Mom said its 83 % and made an immediate emphasizing comment on marks i got."12 % lesser than topper of school". I dint care about that comment and just ignored,sat on bicycle and within next 20mins or so i was infront of school notice board.

While Everyone was busy jumping curiously seeing each others marks, i was just gazing at you. You were dressed up in dark blue salwar that day. Your face and those beautiful eyes was more boyed up than never. My heart said me to trigger off a talk with you ,while my mind contradicted thinking what other guys would think/speak about if they saw me talking to you. That day unfortunately my mind won over my heart. Maybe if i had ever knew that it would be my last time seeing you i would have ensured my heart to win that day.

Now i have turned 24, couple of days back. Some times i wonder why first crush stays forever. I still see you in my dreams.

Sometimes you speak to me,
Sometimes you walk with me,
Sometimes you ignore me,
Sometimes you play hide & seek with me,
Sometimes you are angry with me.

They say the world is small.
Hoping to meet you in real life oneday.
Your's lovingly,
Me



Monday, April 13, 2009

Mein aisa kyu hu?? (Why am i like this)




"Mein aisa kyu hu,Mein aisa kyu hu"

"Mein aisa kyu hu,Mein aisa kyu hu"


This was one hit song from Movie Lakshya. When the movie came i enjoyed this song, but i never thought i would be singing this for myself some day . I was never out of focus , than the way am now. Laziness has creped in me and am not able to get rid of it.


I am exactly  in similar situation where in the hero (hirthick roshan) of film was facing. Hero dint had lakshya , so he wanted to do whatever that creeps in minds of his friend. When his friend wants to do MBA ,he also thinks that is right for him and then if same guy come and tell he wants to join army again , this also feels right option for him.


Similar thoughts  are revolving around my head today. To put a few on paper. I want to take IAS exam when i see some people in my group have decided and working for it. I  also want to take GATE exam and do well and get into IITs or IISC,when i see few more working towards GATE. There are  other option which is in my mind like taking GRE and traveling out for MS. 


These things reminds me one of my favourite  titan add.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9X7Lr-uplo


I wasn't like this when i was kid. When ever anyone used ask me what you want to become in future, without any second thought / hesitation i used to say  "I want to become Cricketer" . Being a cricketer and representing country  just became one of my childhood dreams. I still remember days when i used to be there in field under  scorching sun  for entire day, inspite when there were lot of politics in school team selection and  i was just asked either  field or being 12 th Man in team. As a kid i was very passionate about the game Cricket. I never used to miss a match on TV. I remember days when we used to go and sit in cable operators house with huge crowd  without food for almost entire day and enjoy winning moments of Indian cricket team. My mom in such situations used to react in typical way like the other mothers. "What would you gain seeing that stupid game. Only players make money out of it and you guys just waste time for it." But still i never missed a game on TV. I had list all 10*11 players in my tongue tip who had participated in World cup 1996.(Even the Kenyan and UAE players who were debut ants for that world cup) . I used to memorize entire score cards of match and used to discuss about shots Sachin played with other guys in school. Those were best days of my life!!!


Now if i look back, May be i never seriously thought of what i really wanted to become. Thats reason why i ended up as stupid software engineer like millions in this country.


Ya time has come to decide on few things for my future and am in dilemma in deciding upon what to do. Here is list of items still revolving in my head.


  1. Study hard for Civil service Exam and become an IAS/IPS/IFS officer.

  2. Take GATE and get into any of IITs/IISC and become a research scientist

  3. Write ISRO exam and join ISRO

  4. Take Photography courses and become a professional phtographer.

  5. Most disappointing option . Concentrate on work which i am doing in IBM right now and do tremendous progress there it self and in few  years get married as a stupid software engineer after i start getting 1 lak sal per month

  6. Most funniest option which came in my mind. Taking up umpire exams and becoming  a Umpire for ICC. This is only way i still can dream daily about cricket.( Just imagine myself  in "Ind vs Pak  world cup final" standing as umpire and guys like Dhoni , Sachin and Zak pleading for leg before in front of me ).  



Friday, November 21, 2008

Value of 500




I liked this video in youtube. It shows how much importance  a 500Rs note has in different people.

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=M0XTPSYdP08

Someone wants to hangout at eating joints and do a party with it.(A cool dude who enjoys his life)
Someone wants to buy all school stationeries.(An aspiring Govt school kid)
Someone wants to spend whole amount on MOVIES!!(A Movie freak)
Someone wants to spend a small amount for  children and save rest for future.(My God typical Indian Women mentality)
Someone says nothing is possible with 500RS.(How rich is he!!!)
Someone uses it for almost everything., wants to buy clothes,do small shopping in local market, get some eatables..etc.(A street child)
Someone wants to hide it forever(Cool chap)
Someone wants to eat icecream and party with friends with 500 note.
Someone wants to buy a first class railway pass
Someone wants to spend it on DRINKS!!
Someone wants to recharge  mobile.
Someone uses a 100 of it to buy a watch,A Bat.etc(Bat ?? Future Sachin of the Country)
Someone wants to visit a best hotel with that note
Someone uses it for tuition fees.
Someone uses it for branded underwear( A Brand freak...may be he learnt to speak Adidas,LEE,Reebok first than he spoke word Ma)
Someone wants to have a stylish hair cut!!!!


This is state of a true colorful country 

Someone's hair cut = Someone's tuition fee!!!
and we call it Incredible INDIA!!!

Think before you spend.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I Worth this Much ammount !!!




You are worth exactly $1,829,250
Check yours at http://www.humanforsale.com/

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.




This is text o
f the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

This is one of few speeches that inspires me whenever i hear/read

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Life is Dream!!!!


2 random thoughts have stuck in my mind from few days. 

Random #1:

Is life a DREAM??












Why are we all alive?Is there a purpose or a motive behind our life...
Is Life a dream of someone(May be someone who is really huge,great....Did you call him GOD...yep may be...just imagine) ??
Are we all in someone's Dream??Is GOD playing a prank on us?
Will all of us get vanished once GOD (hmmm or the person who is dreaming huge,great...lets assume he is GOD for time being ) wakes up from his Dream??
Is everthing hoax??
BTW does anybody know, when he stops dreaming??
But how can the Dream be that much big and long ??May be great people Dream big and long...
But how come other people also dream...are recursive dreams possible...dream within a dream(I think its possible...i have experienced it..because i too Dream)
What is death then???...dont kno?Cant say!!


Random #2


Does this 4th Dimension exits??













Is TIME a myth? Yep I am very much serious on this.

I feel Time is a Myth.
Time does not exits
Everything in squeezed between our PAST(which is really a past!!) and our FUTURE(which we cant say anything on it).Then where is present??What is TIME?

The past is gone , The present is fleeting and The future is unknown.We just perceive ourselves as bound up in time as an insect in amber

This is how a famous author Tim Swartz defines "Time SLIP"  in his On the edge of time book

"A time slip is an event where it appears that some other era has briefly intruded on the present. A time slip seems to be spontaneous in nature and localization, but there are places on the planet that seem to be more prone than others to time slip events. As well, some people may be more inclined to experience time slips than others. If time then is the unmovable force that physicists say it is, why do some people have experiences that seem to flaunt this concept?"

I personally  have experienced such non time slip situation where in i have experienced few situations ,which i thought have experienced excatly same situations some where in PAST!!

All PHYSICS based on TIME is Fraud and a huge Lie!! Dont study anything with respect to TIME..
 

Some where i read this :

Time is of your own making
its clock ticks in your head.
The moment you stop thought
time too stops dead.